Excellent Women

If you were the kind of person that might judge a book by its cover (which let's face it, I know do - all the time) you would certainly find that these two books are very fine books indeed. They are both beautifully designed and produced and are just the kind of book that I would want to read, just from looking at them. I picked The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim as a holiday read for our recent week in Cornwall and D bought Pax by Sara Pennypacker as a present for me from the most excellent St Ives Bookseller. Sadly I didn't have enough time to finish either of them while we were actually away. (I did finish The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin, but more of that another time.) But now we're back and I have my reading time on the train, I've raced through them both and enjoyed them very much indeed.

In Pax, Sara Pennypacker has seamlessly woven three stories: that of the title character Pax, his boy Peter, and the broken (but not bowed) Vola. All three characters are rich and believable. I don't usually go in for talking animals, but the very 'foxness' of Pax is utterly enchanting and convincing to boot. 

The background to these stories is a war-torn country, the precise area in which Peter and Pax live has been evacuated. Peter's father has enlisted and Peter is sent to his grandfather's house, meaning that he must leave Pax behind. Needless to say, this doesn't go well for either of them and the first section of the book is dedicated to their anxious search for each other.

The second section of the book is where, for me, things got really interesting and new characters were introduced. Two cranky women. (Perhaps this is why I liked it so much!) Vola is a woman damaged by war and Bristle is a vixen fighting to survive against the humans while looking after her brother Runt.  On first encounter, neither of these women want anything to do with Peter or Pax but as the lives of the two humans and the two foxes become entwined they soon become as important to each other as the fox and his boy. The third section of the story sees the two main characters reunited but the shift in the dynamics of their relationships has altered everything and life will never be the same again for either of them. The finale was heart-wrenching, but the openness of the ending left hope for me that all would ultimately be well.

This was a wonderful book that I would whole-heartedly recommend. Viola is one of the most excellent women characters in children's literature that I've met in a while. The only thing that would have made it better for me would've been far more of Jon Klassen's delicious illustrations, but you can't have everything.

Speaking of excellent women brings me onto the second book that I finished this week. I am a huge fan of the Virago Modern Classics range and have been ever since I discovered Excellent Women by Barbara Pym with a cover by Orla Kiely.

This beautiful book with a cover by Angie Lewin has been sitting by my bedside for quite some time waiting for a suitable occasion, and a holiday in Cornwall in April just felt like the perfect time to be reading The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim. The interiors are every bit as delightful as the cover and the four women who find themselves thrown together for a month in an Italian castle are about as colourful and charming as you could hope for. Set in the 1920s, two young women, Rose and Lotty, both dissatisfied with the marriages are brought together by an advertisement in the Times for a small Italian castle available to rent for the month of April. Finding it a stretch financially, they enlist two very different women, the bored but beautiful, Lady Caroline and the haughty and lonely Mrs Fisher. At first meeting they get on terribly, but as the weeks pass by and their relationships deepen the magic of San Salvatore weaves its way in and out of their lives. It's not massive on story, but the characters are all and it is simply wonderful. I dare you not to love it!

A Room of Her Own

What a great couple of months we've had since I last posted here. We've had our first family holiday to Cornwall (including Catriona's first steps in the sea!), done lots of work around the house (all of the things that we've been putting off for the last eighteen months), and watched our little baby change and grow, turn into a little girl and begin being her own wonderful, wonderful person. 

It's amazing to see the changes in her from day to day. Just last week over the course of two days, she learned six new words; teeth, cheese, Janey, Phoebe, bed and Volvo. (D is particularly proud of that last one!) She understands things in a way that we've never really appreciated. She has a sense of time passing, she knows who she is in the context of her own world and she is happy in it. 

When we came back from our holiday, she finally moved into her own room. A little later – well, a whole year later – than we'd planned, but wow! what a difference it has made to us all. It's a lovely room and a space that I would've loved to have had as a child. It is very much her own room though, with her bed and her clothes, books, toys, a mobile, lights and pictures (although the latter aren't actually up on the wall yet.) We bravely took the decision to take the sides off her cot to give her a big girl's bed and true to her own unflappable nature, she slept in it completely unfazed from day one. And boy, does she sleep. When her cot was at the bottom of our bed, she would wake up four, five, six times a night. I'm a restless sleeper and, to be honest, we wound each other up. But now – and I truly hope that this will last – she goes to bed and stays in bed, asleep until we go upstairs to wake her up the following morning.  

And waking her up is now my new favourite time of the day. She always wakes up with the most spectacular bedhead and a breathtaking need to chat. She can go from sound asleep to full on blabbermouth in less than five seconds. It's astonishing. And lovely. And the only way to distract her from her early morning monologue is to ask, "Catriona, would you like some breakfast?", to which the answer is unswervingly and resoundingly, "YES!"

And then we start our day and the rest of our lives together. Love that girl!

A Little Bit of Time...

Imagine that you had a day when you could do pretty much whatever you wanted. Just one day to do as you pleased. What would you do?

As a result of our lovely friends being away on holiday for a week, I needed to do an extra nursery run and I decided that rather than ask for an extra work-from-home day, I would take a day's holiday to drop C off and then have a little bit of time to myself.

In the run up to my day, I spent a certain amount of time mulling over what I might get up to. I knew that I wanted to do only nice things and to make every minute count. To do things that are hard to do when you've got a little person needing your attention. The anticipation became a treat in itself; what would I do? what could I do? There was no should about it, no sense of duty, because I was only going to do things that I wanted to do.

And on the day itself, I dropped Catriona off at nursery and headed straight to the leisure centre to actually go for a swim. Going swimming with a toddler, means splashing around, jumping in and walking around the pool with a baby torpedo, but no actual swimming takes place. This time was different, I swam thirty leisurely lengths, savouring the silence, and I left the centre properly dressed, with dry hair and even with a bit of make-up on! 

Next up was a brisk walk up to Clarendon Palace in the glorious sunshine (lucky me) and a walk back through the nature reserve at Whitebridge Spinney. 

This ran nicely into lunchtime so I took myself off for an alfresco lunch of wild garlic tart at the very lovely Henderson's Artisan Bakery and stayed on after lunch to read my book in the sunshine with a cup of tea. 

I had planned lots of things for the afternoon – knit, make malteser tiffin, watch a movie, paint my nails – but the weather was so nice that I took a blanket to my nearest park and read my book until it was time to collect little C from nursery.

What a wonderful day. And the best part of that day? Seeing C's lovely little face when I picked her up from nursery and getting those two perfect, pudgy arms wrapped around my neck when I reached down to pick her for a cuddle.

Getting Back to Normal

What a wonderful thing time is. It passes quickly, slowly, imperceptibly, irrevocably. If you can get through it, you can get through anything. And so here we are. After one year, two months and fifteen days, I finally feel as if I am getting back some of my own time, and I have to tell you, it feels wonderful! I love being a mum, but it is not the only thing about me. Today is not a landmark day, nothing major has happened to make me feel like this, but the sun is shining and as I took the time to walk the last part of my journey to work along the river, I realised that yes, I am getting my life back.

Taking time back has been a gradual process, which started with the little lady going to nursery. It wasn't the smoothest process initially and we both struggled at times, but she cracked it and now she loves it. It has enabled me to go back to work, which again hasn't been easy – there's been a certain amount of guilt, my priorities have altered and I have frequently questioned whether or not I'm doing the right thing, but I have (at least today, I think I have), and it's good for both of us. I get to use my brain and can engage in adult conversation about something other than babies; and she gets to throw powder paint onto the snow and feed baby goats from a bottle. I work for three days a week, which means that the majority of my week is spent with her – it's a better balance all round. More than this, it's not just rejoining the world of work that has been a good thing. The time that I spend either side of my working day is a wonderful thing, the commute which used to be a bit of a chore has now become my own precious time to read, knit,  daydream or even freelance. I have read more in the last ten weeks than in the entire year of my maternity leave and I LOVE it!

Most recently, I've been reading a lots of great books. Highlights have been Bellman and Black by Diane Setterfield, The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters, The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins the two 'Cormoran Strike' novels by Robert Galbraith (aka J. K. Rowling), Waffle Hearts by Maria Parr, The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell, The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer and Perfect  by Rachel Joyce. I'm currently devouring Picnic at Hanging Rock by Joan Lindsay and can't wait to get stuck into The Museum of Extraordinary Things by Alice Hoffman. Catriona is currently reading Hippos Go Beserk! by Sandra Boynton, Rosie's Walk by Pat Hutchins and Noodle Loves to Cuddle by Marion Billet.

It is wonderful to be back in the world of books, both reading and making. But beyond books,  I've also taken up yoga again and have found a really enjoyable vinyasa flow class in a village just outside of Salisbury. I have picked up my needles again in earnest and am knitting a sweet little cabled cardigan for Catriona's friend Janey. I'm gradually doing the things that I used to enjoy so very much before having a baby. 

To be honest, the baby isn't really such a baby anymore. She is walking (clumsily) and talking (in an almost intelligible way) and full of cuddles and kisses. Developmentally, it seems like there is something new every single day. This week, she climbed the stairs for the first time and last week, she walked over to the fridge, opened the door and helped herself to a punnet of raspberries. This morning, before I left for work she said, "Bye" and gave me a lovely, lovely kiss. I can't tell you how hard it was to leave the house. She has everything ahead of her and she amazes me every day.

Looking forward, I want to carry on keeping the balance; looking after her and looking after me. I want to appreciate my lovely husband more, get out running regularly, make more, read other people's blogs more, get out in the garden more and maybe even go out on a date... (Oh, and blog more – see you soon.)

Hello Again

Well, hello there! I'm sorry I've been away for so long (has it really been five months?) but I've had my hands a bit full with the charming creature that is becoming more and more of a little girl every day. 

Today she is eight months old and eight months wonderful. The last couple of months in particular have been such great fun, as Catriona grows, develops and her individuality shines through. Her favourite things just now are the cat and food. Her adorable little face lights up and she squeals in delight whenever he ventures near. They've had a couple of close encounters and Coleman's patience has been sorely tested, but he turns out to have the patience of a saint and so far they're the best of friends. I really hope that it'll stay that way...

Food is her other great love and I have say that she's a natural born eater! She hasn't turned her nose up at a single thing we've put in front of her. (Though she does pull a brilliant face if presented with anything really cold!) We waited until she was a full six months before embarking on this particular adventure, as we wanted to try baby-led weaning, and she was very, very ready. We hit the ground running with three full meals - and a lot of milk besides - eating together and sharing exactly the same foods. Mealtimes are my favourite times of the day, even if the clearing up afterwards is quite challenging!

When she's not eating or beaming at Coleman, the little lady has a fabulous social life. (Oh, so much better than ours!) Catriona goes to classes twice a week with her little baby buddies and loves to swim at the leisure centre. We like to keep busy so we have our own little adventures, which this week have included a morning out at Mottisfont and a day out in glorious Bath Spa tomorrow with Lois and Janey. 

As you can imagine, this doesn't exactly leave much time for me to create, craft or read, but I do keep trying. I'm currently reading The Apothecary by Maile Meloy and The Girl Who Saved the King of Sweden by Jonas Jonasson and I'm knitting a fox-face hat and a cloudy sky blanket for Catriona, of which more in my next post. (Which hopefully won't be such a long time coming!) See you here again soon. Nx

All Smiles!

Three months old today and I can't quite get my head round where the time has gone. I don't know quite how it's happened, but a quarter of a year has passed in the blink of an eye. And as fast as it's been, it has been wonderful. Catriona is simply the best thing in our lives and as tough as it sometimes gets, I just can't imagine how our lives would be if she wasn't here.

I had thought that I would manage to post at least once a month, but I guess that was a bit optimistic. We haven't been shirking and every day we get up to something or other. Since I last wrote, Catriona has taken on the following:

• a bedtime routine (complete with two hours each evening for the grown-ups to eat a hot meal together at the same time - gasp!)
• smiles (this makes all of tough times instantly forgettable)
• immunisations (she screamed so hard that we had to remind her to breathe) 
• swimming lessons, baby sensory and sing and sign classes (swimming can be very tiring, but they're all really good fun, especially the ball-pit at baby sensory)
• a trip into London Town to introduce the little one and to visit Daddy in his office
• two trips to the beach to enjoy the spring sunshine
• lots of walking and playtime, but hardly any naps

Since I last wrote, I have managed the following:

• finished her cardigan - just in time for her to grow out of it!
• made (and eaten) countless batches of malteser tiffin
• read nearly half a book
• knitted one pair of socks
• been out for a 5k run
• made a picture out of Catriona's welcome home banner
• had one night out (though I did spend most of the time thinking about the little lady)

It doesn't sound like much and I've had lots of ideas of things I'd like to do but you know, there's no rush. Everything doesn't have to be done right now. Those ideas can stay ideas for a bit longer and the world will not stop spinning on its axis. I don't have to beat myself up about not getting anything done. What's important right now is the smiles - oh, those wonderful smiles - and getting to know the little girl that our baby is turning into. 

 

Time Flies

Our baby girl is one month old today! I can't quite explain where the last month has gone other than to say that it's been a flurry of feeding, changing, cuddling and getting to know each other. Catriona Hazel arrived safe and well at home in a birth pool at 8.11 on the morning of Friday the 10th of January. She was helped into the world by our wonderful midwife Jacqui accompanied by the dulcet tones of Jose Gonzales and illuminated by fairy lights! At a mighty 4.415 kilos (9 lbs 12 oz), she was rather larger than we were expecting and she has turned our world upside down in the most wonderful way.

Nothing can prepare you for the depth of feeling that having a child will create in you and sometimes when I'm gazing at her beautiful little face I find myself almost overwhelmed by love. She is perfect and wonderful, unique and precious; and we are so glad that she has come into our lives. 

However, all this extra loving has rather put the kibosh on any non-baby related activities. I am still reading the same two books that I started before she arrived - the brilliantly clever and starkly witty Symposium by Muriel Spark and the haunting modern fable, A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki. It's strange not having time to read and I miss it a great deal, but as each day passes, I think we get a little bit better at this and I know that there will be more time in the future. Also, I find that I appreciate my reading time all the more for its scarcity. 

Craft has also been put on hold for the time being. I have managed to get to my knitting groups, but unless someone else is happy to cuddle the little miss, it is impossible to engage with sticks and string. I am so close to finishing a cardigan for her (to match the dress that I made just before she arrived too big to wear!) that it's silly. I only have to weave in the ends and we'll be good to go, but even the time for that tiny task seems too hard to come by. Her knitted name is also incredibly near completion - I just need to shape the wire and fix it to a supportive backing. 

I am typing this while she sleeps, curled up like a frog, on my chest. We've both had breakfast and if I can bear to wake her up, we should have a bath before starting the day in earnest. We are going for a walk every day and have visitors or meet up with friends most days and I can't tell you how touched we have been by everyone's friendship, support, kindness and love. (Sorry, will stop being so sentimental now - must be the hormones!)